Category Archives: Other Junk

The Bachelorette resumes

Don’t worry friends, the Bachelorette is back tonight. I’ll venture to say that our week-long hiatus from America’s best reality show was a much needed break for all of us. Between the scandal surrounding Ashley’s premature claim to be love-struck by Bentley and numerous emotional breakdowns on the part of both the bachelorette and her men, I was getting a little worn out.

Now, I’m refreshed and more ready than ever to watch the drama unfold. There are six men left: Ames, JP, Ryan, Ben, Constantine (wth?) and Luke.

 What have we to look forward to tonight?  I wonder….

Will Ashley and Ben form a stronger bond and deeper connections? Let’s hope. Will JP continue to be the perfect example of what a man should be? Absolutely.
Will Ames have the ability to recite the species and genus of any creature that is encountered by the group for the rest of this exotic journey in Asia? Most likely.
Will Luke give Ash another golf lesson aka will Ashley back that thang up on him without his request? Crossing fingers.
Will Ashley cry again? Without a doubt.
Will Harrison be perfect? Always.

Ben and JP mean mug a timid Ashley during the customary rose ceremony huddle.

 Whatever happens, I hope that terrified expression from the end of the last episode is wiped off that woman’s face. It’s time to fall in love and stop angering your suitors. Get it together and get your head in the game, Ash. Cheers to the drama.

-V

Parting Ways

As you may or may not know, Brooke just graduated from college. I’ve smothered this blog with commentary on bachleor/ette scandals and shenanigans, but she’s the other half of this little operation. She’s put in her four years at MU and now she’s off, traveling the world and searching for her place in it. I’m so glad to have found a best friend in that sweet girl.

sophomore year

Despite being in different states, my hope is that this blog will continue to be a link between us. I’m actually hoping to live vicariously through her – she’s currently visiting Paris and Italy and I’m getting eaten alive by mosquitos here in the Missouri summer. But I’m not bitter.

I’m gonna miss ya. Here’s to our friendship, B-fierce!

-V

There’s no business like [drag] show business

Everybody loves a good show. There’s nothing quite like the anticipation that an audience member feels when the lights go down, the stage lights up, and the shadows of feet scurry behind a crimson curtain.

Over labor day weekend, two girlfriends and I went on a trip to visit my cousin for her 34th birthday. In celebration, my cousin took us out to a club called “Discovery”. We had no idea how appropriate that name would turn out to be. The  night spent at this club was full of discoveries, some disturbing, some amusing, and some just downright terrifying. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

First, I should let you know that Discovery is a gay club. Those who choose to go to this club must first walk through “security”, which consists of two gnarly young men, who search your bags thoroughly for contraband. I’m not talking a simple flashlight shined into your purse. These men sifted through our belongings with their fingers, throwing things that looked questionable (including sunglasses, God knows why) into a cardboard box at their feet. After this was done, they ran their hands along our entire bodies in search of weapons.

So, needless to say, right off the bat my friends and I were “discovering” new things. Never before had I been to a club that literally frisked me at the door. But that was only the beginning of our adventure.

Once inside, our group walked through the club into a theater area, where we found a table and waited. A few of us meandered toward the bar and got drinks, but I sat in anticipation. This was to be my very first drag show experience. A minute before show time, I watched the shadows of feet move behind the curtain and I braced myself for what was to come.

The music swelled. The spotlights darted in a frenzy across the curtain. The crowd started cheering. Up went the curtain and there stood three men in drag, so padded, glittered, and feathered that any semblance of their manliness was impossible to find.

Later, I was told that my mouth hung open throughout the entire show. Between the outrageous costumes, fake cleavage and horrible lip synching I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry (both from pure joy, of course). The most insane part of the night were the women who hurled themselves at the stage and offered up their dollars as if they were kneeling before gods. These drunken women literally laid themselves across the stage and waited for the drag queens to straddle them and caress their bodies…. talk about starved for sexual attention.

Almost as entertaining as the show itself, was a bearded young fellow in the front row, who constantly leapt from his chair, pranced across the room like a ballerina, and performed twirls on a whim. He wore a skin-tight black shirt with a dangerously deep V neckline. This man tipped every drag queen to grace the stage and often demanded the money be taken from between his teeth by the bedazzled queens. At one point, he literally hoisted a skinny jean clad leg around a pole in the room and performed his version of a pole dance.

Dear. God.

By the time the third drag queen had performed, my cousin had kicked back a few birthday drinks. The tall, dark and glamorous emcee emerged from the curtains and scanned the crowd for a victim to rub his fake bosom on. Naturally, my cousin grabbed his attention and he strutted toward our table to get to know us a little better. From up close, this queen’s makeup was so thick that I marveled at his ability to still move his facial muscles. His curves were flawless. His stomach was flat. His hair was silky and ran down his back. With a tinge of shame I realized that I was jealous of this man.

After the hefty blonde wearing sparkly blue lipstick and an orange boa wrapped up the night with the final routine, my friend and I ventured out into the club to get down on the dance floor. We thought that we shouldn’t have a problem with the threats that clubs usually impose (creepers, molesters, rapists, etc.). We figured that, since we were in a gay club, we wouldn’t have to worry about sweaty, mouth breather men rubbing up against us. We were so wrong.

As we casually walked onto the dance floor, staring about us in bewilderment at the pure insanity and chaos that meant “dancing” to these people, we felt the hungry stare of the predator. Apparently, Discovery is the only club that stays open past 1 a.m., so every rapist in the city shimmied on over there to continue their partying.

As my friend and I nervously swayed to the music, a belligerent sexual assailant named Justin made his way over to us, grabbed my friend inappropriately, and proceeded to sputter out that we were “hot” and declared that he was “no homosexual”, but we sure were a “hot couple”.

Double yikes.

All I could think was: Juuuustin…say it don’t spray it.

And: I think my hair is literally curling from the humidity that is radiating from this man’s sweat-drenched body.

In an attempt to escape from Justin, we ventured into another room called the “techno room” which flashed with blue lights, had a platform in the middle that people could dance/make out on, and cages up to the ceiling that clubbers could climb into and commence to blessing their peers with the sight of their gyrations. Needless to say, we got over that room real fast.

We ended up leaving the club after a few minutes of dancing, but I must confess that I did see an attractive man that night. He was the police officer arresting some schwastey ruffian outside of the club doors. I would have asked for his number, but he was too busy reaching for his gun and screaming.  Oh well…maybe next time?

The shock of that night hit us so hard that we slept past noon the next day. And when I woke up…I wanted to do it again.

-V

College is Awkward

The fall semester is upon us. Soon enough we will be trudging to class in the leftover heat of summer and plopping down at desks. We will pull out a notebook and try to remember how to write again, as our fingers have grown accustomed to not having to scrawl anything longer than a signature on a retail receipt. You’ll take a look around the lecture hall, at the students around you, and you’ll soon realize that you are about to enter into, once again, a world of collegiate awkwardness.

Whether you are in class, walking around campus, or hanging downtown, when the students are all together again, life becomes extremely, hilariously, and often painfully, awkward. Beyond being awkward, college situations can be downright infuriating. 

So, I’ve made a list of the common awkward/painful moments that warm my heart. Enjoy.

1) You feel fine while you’re walking to class, but suddenly, as you sit down in your seat, you can’t breathe. Clearly, that brisque walk knocked the wind out of you more than you expected. Or maybe you held your breath the whole walk there? Because your lungs can’t get enough air and you have become the mouth breather at the back of the class. Of course, the class is completely silent so every breath you take can be heard. You desperately grip the sides of your desk as you try to regulate your breathing and your pounding heart.

2) There’s this one person who is in at least three of your classes and who you literally see everywhere you go. You’re in Starbucks studying…they’re at the counter ordering a drink. You’re looking for a book in the stacks at the library…they’re sitting at a desk studying near the shelves. You’re on the machines at the rec…they’re getting a drink at the water fountain. Who is this person?! Do you have the exact same life as them? Is God trying to tell you to be friends?!

3) You’re sitting in the back of a lecture class and the professor turns the lights out to go over some slides. Well…obviously you’re going to rest your head back on the wall. And inevitably you’ll fall asleep. Suddenly, you’re startled from your slumber because the professor has decided it necessary to mosey all of the way to the back of the classroom and is talking right next to you. Uncalled for.

4) There’s always that one kid who pretty much already has a degree in the subject you’re learning about and should probably be teaching the class himself because…he never shuts up.

5) Or the girl who asks when an assignment is due right after the professor explained it in great detail and even wrote it on the board? Come on, now. Are your Ugg boots too snug? Can’t think straight?

6) You know somebody in a big lecture class and you always get there before them, so you obviously put your bag in the seat next to you, to save them a spot. A group of sorority girls needs an entire row to seat them and shoot you dirty looks for taking up extra space. Excuse me for being a good samaritan of sorts and saving a seat for a friend. Excuse me.

7) You’re actually trying to pay attention in class because you scored below the class average on the last exam, but the three girls behind you are talking at a normal voice level – not whispering – about the party last night and how Tiffany totally hooked up with Mark. Spare me.

8. Somebody in front of you is literally eating sunflower seeds in an 8a.m. class and spitting the shells into a gatorade bottle. The person next to him is chewing what you can swear is tobacco. What is happening.

9) You witness a fellow student take a swig out of a hip flask before taking an exam at 9 in the morning.

10) Someone in front of you in class is watching Harry Potter’s fearless quest to save the school of Hogwarts and the wizarding world alike, on their laptop.  You try to pay attention to the professor, but Harry is about to battle he-who-must-not-be-named during the triwizard tournament. And it’s your favorite part. 

11) You see your philosophy professor out on the town with his buddies. Do you say hello? You think he probably saw you…does he even know who you are? Because there’s a paper due tomorrow…at 8 a.m…and you haven’t even looked at the prompt yet…

12) Somebody you don’t know friend requests you on facebook. You have a few mutual friends, and they don’t  have a cat as their profile picture, so you accept them. You do some light stalkage of their page to make sure you shouldn’t regret your choice and afterward, pretty much forget about them. Later into the semester, you see that person at a party. Do you acknowledge that you know who they are, or do you allow yourself to be awkwardly introduced to them? I still don’t know the answer to that one.

13) Bikers on campus. No offense if you are one but…seriously. Are you really going to weave through a sidewalk full of students?! Do you think it best to zoom past me at 50mph, without warning, while I’m walking to class?! What if I dropped something and had to turn slightly to pick it up? I’d be a quadriplegic for life.

14) You just want to enjoy a mid-day snack. All you want is your granola bar. But for some reason, today in lecture, nobody is talking and when you go to open your tasty treat the wrapper crinkles so loud that you think you might have heard it echo. Guess you won’t be having your snack today.

15) You’re walking down a long sidewalk and you recognize the person walking toward you on the other end. You obviously can’t wave this far away….so you pretend like you don’t see them yet. You grab out your phone and “text”. You pretend to be very interested in the overweight squirrel that is hurling itself from a branch nearby. Look away…look away….”OH hey! Almost didn’t see you there.” So awkward.

16) Seeing anybody from high school on campus that you weren’t really friends with can always turn into an awkward situation.

17) You’re waiting for the last class to leave a huge lecutre hall and are standing shoulder to shoulder with the other students waiting while desperately trying not to boobe graze the person’s back in front of you. Yikes.

18) You live in a student neighborhood. It’s always awkward when you come home and someone from the party next door is peeing on your house.

19) It’s pretty awkward when you hear blood curdling screams outside of your door as if someone is being murdered, only to find a drunken girl in a sequined minidress sprawled across the walkway to your house without shoes on. Is she screaming in pain? No. She’s screaming because she just got out of rehab and her friends let her lapse back into a drinking binge and set her loose on the neighborhood.

mmmm love me some college.

-V

Dumped in Paradise

Everybody is back in LA, preparing their hearts and minds for the romantic things that await in Tahiti. Chris stands by the hotel pool and surveys the palm trees.

“Falling in love with Ali seems right and natural…and it makes me happy” says his voiceover.

Meanwhile, Roberto is packing for the trip. After holding it to his heart with closed eyes, he places his Lion King CD on top of his folded shirts and remembers what it felt like to be intertwined with Ali onstage. He also recalls how drafty it was in that diaper-like loincloth.

Roberto takes a moment to lay on his bed and toss a baseball at the ceiling, remembering all of the great times he and Ali had together. Like that one time she said he was so hot and too good for her. Oh wait…that’s every time she’s hung out with him.

At that same moment, Frank is in his hotel room, neatly laying out his dinner jackets.

“Ali and I have a connection that very few people have,” he tells the camera. “I could see us getting married one day. I came here to fall in love with Ali and I think I did….(cue sinister music) but I think there’s something holding me back.”

Frank has had feelings “brewing” inside of him for his ex girlfriend Nicole. Surprise
surprise. Needless to say, Frank’s not ready to go to Tahiti and get intimate with Ali. He needs to decide if he still loves Nicole first.

He  nervously strides through the streets of Chicago and finds himself in front of Nicole’s door. Apparently, the two haven’t conversed in months. He knocks. Several seconds pass….no answer. Frank starts ripping his beard hairs out. I start praying she will answer before he hyperventilates to death.

The door slowly creeks open and two beady eyes peek out. “What’s going on?!” says Nicole. She acts surprised despite the fact that she is in full makeup while hooked up to a mic.

The two have a seat on the couch and Frank stutters out a few things about Ali as Nicole stares in silence. Finally, after Frank strangles out a few more sentences, she decides to speak.

“It’s sickening to think that you could get closer and deeper with anybody else other than me. It’s heartbreaking and frankly (no pun intended), I’m shaking right now because of it. You might need to drive me to the hospital in a minute, because of the strain that this is causing my body.”

Oh, good. Someone just as dramatic as Frank.

“Without you I’m not happy and I don’t feel complete. It’s sick. I’m dying inside…every day takes me to newer lows. I need you to come home.”

Emo much?

Frank loves it. He’s completely forgotten about Ali and is now making out with Nicole, as if the past weeks on the Bachelorette never existed. Two months of zero communication and I guess they’ll just pick up right where they left off…?

Roberto in Tahiti

1) Roberto is up for the first date in paradise. “Proposing is right around the corner and I feel good about that” he says. Ali comes to get him and they jump into a helicopter.

2) They land on what is allegedly a heart-shaped island, but what in fact just looks like a normal-shaped island.

3) They set up a picnic at the beach and Ali immediately strips down to reveal a bright bikini. Roberto pulls a Jacob Black and gathers her in his arms and runs with her.

4) The pair meet up for dinner and Ali is wearing a silver…negligee? Roberto is so nervous about telling her how he feels that he’s sweating. It’s adorable. He tells her that he’s falling in love with her and flashes that stellar smile of his. I peed myself a little.

5) Is it possible to fall in love with someone that you’ve never met? I just did.

6) They open the fantasy card and I wonder why Ali even takes the time to read it. Hmm…to stay the night with Roberto or not to stay the night with Roberto. It’s not even a question.

7) The two decide to wade through the ocean on the way back to the fantasy suite. Uh oh! Roberto’s shorts got wet in the water. Guess he’ll have to take them off….

Chris in Tahiti

1) I’m sorry, Chris is adorable but after spending the day with Roberto…I can’t even think straight. Every time I try to consider Chris as a contender he is outshined by Roberto’s smile, dimples, and exotic brown skin. Am I wrong to favor Roberto because of his looks? Maybe. Am I concerned about it? No.

2) Chris and Ali get on a boat and all I can say is the ocean water is doing nothing good for Ali’s hair. It’s getting scragglier and drier by the minute.

3) The two head to dinner and the fantasy suite card shows up. “There’s a fantasy suite?!” exclaims a bewildred Chris. Yeah riiiight…you aren’t fooling anybody.

4) Why is Ali wearing what appear to be gauchos? Yikes.

5) And now, a list of quotes by Chris.

“How are we gonna top this on our honeymoon?!”

“God, I love you.”

Don’t let him sway you, ladies. Roberto for the win.

Franknasty in Tahiti

1) Frank decides that he needs to chat with Harrison before he faces Ali. I’d say that’s a good choice. Not only is Harrison wise and a great counselor, he is also a father figure, and what every woman wants in a man, all at once.

2) Frank blubbers his predicament to Harrison, who sits across from him with a look of disdain. “I have to tell you, I’m blown away.” says Harrison, “And I’m a little grossed out by how bloodshot your eyes are and how veiny your forhead is. But that aside, you just made a complete 180 degree turn. You loved Ali last week…what’s the dealio?!” Frank has no answer as silent tears trickle down his cheeks.

3) Harrison advises Frank to break the news to Ali as soon as she picks him up for their date. Meanwhile, Ali is telling the camera that she is head over heels for Frank and that she’s basically picked him for the winner. No bueno.

4) Ali excitedly skips up to Frank’s door, grabs him, and starts kissing his neck and giggling. The camera gives us a tight shot of Frank’s bloodshot eyes swimming in tears as he grapples with the idea of dumping and deserting Ali in paradise.

5) “Ali….we need to talk,” says Frank. Ali immediately looks terrified and starts to cry. Frank ushers her to a chair and breaks up with her. The exotic pink flower that Ali sported behind her ear for this special occasion appropriately begins to droop. She pulls it out of her hair and dashes it to the ground in a dramatic display of anguish.

6) Ali hugs Frank goodbye and runs under a palm tree to weep, where Harrison, of course, joins her to offer words of comfort and wisdom. Harrison listens to her complaints, gives her a pat on the back, a tender hug, and sends her off to her room to recouperate.

Thanks, Hare. You’re the best.

7) At the rose ceremony Harrison tells the boys that Ali has something heavy to lay on them. They look terror stricken.

Chris’ thoughts:

Has she decided to elope with Frank? That scrawny *bleep*

Does my dead mother freak her out?

Maybe my family was just too perfect for her to handle.

Roberto’s thoughts:

Am I too much of a rico suave for her?

Needless to say, the boys were overjoyed to find that Frank had scuttled off to Chicago to re-connect with his ex. The Men Tell All show is tonight. Arguably the best episode of the Bachelor/ette seasons every time. Cheers to the drama.

-V

The Bachelorette Visits Turkey

This week, the bachelorette and her men explored Turkey. Not the sandwich meat, but probably equally as exciting.

“I have high hopes to move forward with the guys in this random city.” Ali tells the camera. We see her walking through what looks like a slum, but what is probably a tourist area.

The men roll up to a hotel, where Harrison is waiting, and the first thing that I notice is their head-gear. They all seem to be wearing really ugly hats and I’m thinking, whatever happened to the classic baseball cap?! Between the dog tags, chains, and hats, this show could be turned into eXtreme makeover: bachelor edition.

While the men settle into their hotel suite, Ali is in her room rubbing perfume on her wrists. Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. It’s Harrison. And he has some serious business to lay down (as usual). He tells Ali that Jessie, from Jake’s season, has some bad news to tell her.

Does everybody remember Jessie? She looked like a woodland creature and barely had any role in the show except for when she sniffled into Jake’s ear that Vienna was a fugly slut.

Harrison fumbles around for a wrinkled post-it note in his pocket, tediously dials out the number, and an awkward silence ensues as the phone rings literally 13 times before Jessie picks up.

Jessie tells Ali the tough news: “Hey Ali. Rated R has a girlfriend…her name is Jessica and she’s actually one of my best friends because she’s sitting right next to me.” (hands Jessica the phone)

Jessica: “I’m Justin’s girlfriend. He isn’t called Rated R for nothing. He’s been dating me plus another girl, and that behavior is definitely not PG13. (forces out a fake whimper) He and I planned to have him on the show to get him famous. An entertainment wrestler def. has the potential to become an A-lister, you know?! I mean…we figured if he got some face-time he could be wrestling with the best of them.”

All I can say is…after this show, Rated R will definitely have a seat at the Oscars next to Brangelina and Tom Cruise. Because having your fake girlfriend call into a reality show to stage an upset always gets you to the top.

Ali hangs up the phone and her eyes are balls of fire. “Let’s go, Harrison.” she grunts, and the two stomp down the hallway in search of the guys’ suite. Harrison knocks on the door, looking excited for the chance to whoop some wrestler butt with his vicious rhetoric. Craig answers the door and let’s the dynamic duo in.

Ali  is straight sassy with Justin in front of the guys. She starts screaming, so he gets up and walks out. Roberto holds and rocks her while Justin gathers his satchel, slings it over  his shoulder, adjusts his boot, and walks out of the hotel. “EFF YOU!” he screams, as he slams the suite door. “I’ve got my passport and my wallet and that’s all I need.” he mumbles as he limps down the hallway. It’s a good thing that’s all he’ll need, because he definitely left his dignity back at the suite.

The boys rush to the window to watch the drama, as Ali and Harrison sprint after Rated R, who is now walking in circles around the hotel, trying to escape. Curiously, every single door he tries to enter is locked and the people inside look so terrified, an outsider might mistake this as a terrorist situation. Finding the surrounding buildings to be on lock-down, Justin starts climbing through some shrubbery and scaling a few fountains to find his escape. “You’re gonna regret this. FACE ME LIKE A MAN!” Ali screams.

Finally realizing that ABC somehow has the ability to lockdown an entire country for the purposes of this show, Justin hobbles back over to Ali and pops a squat next to her. She stares daggers into his soul as she waits for him to speak. Justin says he’s sorry, Ali tells him he’s not a man and that he lacks honor and integrity, and he walks off into the streets of Turkey once more. As Justin desperately tries to hail a cab (not realizing that ABC producers have instructed all cab drivers to ignore him) we hear a series of voicemails that he left for the alleged “girlfriend” Jessica.

Goodbye, Rated R. Good luck with all of that wrestling stuff. Now, let’s get back to finding Ali’s true love.

Ty and Ali’s One-on-One Date

1) Ty is strolling through Turkey and he’s painfully reminding me of Dirty Wes with his country boy button up shirt – sleeves rolled up just above the wrists – and his swagger. But i decide to push those thoughts from my mind and give him a fair chance.

2) The pair walk into an ancient building, suit up in what appear to be picnic blankets, and shuffle off in wooden shoes to a mystical chamber of healing waters. Just kidding. I don’t think they were healing waters…they were just…waters.

All I can say is, a turkish bathhouse sounds way unsanitary.

“It’s crazy to think that people have been bathing here for 300 years.” says Ali.

More like super gross. 300 whole years of germ build-up and dirty naked man bodies sitting on every surface of that room. Forgive me while I gag.

3) The mystical turkish music swells as Ty rubs Ali down with some lotions and they make out hardcore.

4) Once they’re done with the bathhouse, the couple go out for some dinner. Don’t worry, Ty didn’t forget to wear his metal spider/scorpion pendant, which hangs from a leather strap around his neck.

5) Ty tells Ali that he divorced his last wife because she had a job and was career-driven.

…do I even need to comment on how many negative points that earned?

Group Date

Kirk, Chris, Roberto, Craig

1) The boys and Ali  are straight chugging mugs of beer in an ottoman empire amphitheater, when a processional of oiled-up turkish men shows up. The guys don’t even get to break into the snacks before they are informed that they have to wrestle with these guys.

2) Chris is super disgusted that he has to rub himself against a beefy oily man. Kirk shrieks in sheer terror: “They’re all oiled up!!!” Highly dangerous situation we have on our hands here.

3) The date takes a turn for the worse as the boys are doused in olive oil and commence to rolling around in the grass with one another.

4) Roberto and Craig wrestle. Roberto is a complete beast, yet somehow Craig beats him despite the fact that he has the least amount of muscles in the whole group.

5) Craig wins a one-on-one date which I will not comment on because it was completely boring.

Frank and Ali’s Date…

1) Frank runs up to Ali in a pigeon infested courtyard and they share a passionate kiss. They frolic off into the streets of Turkey to get swindled by a few turkish vendors.

2) While Frank fits himself with a turban, Ali of course has to take the opportunity to have as little clothing on as possible. So, naturally, a sparkly bedazzled bra and sheer skirt would be the appropriate thing for her to try on. We’re talking the turkish equivalent of Victoria’s Secret underwear.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel…

Craig is posted up in bed with Roberto, while wearing  a black muscle shirt. Nobody knows why.

Back at the date…

3) You know those sales people at the mall who ask to feel your skin? And then they whip out exfoliating cream and start massaging your fingers with it? And you’re screaming in your head because some stranger with an indecipherable accent is literally caressing you? Well that’s pretty much what everybody is like in Turkey.

4) While Frank takes shots of hard alcohol, some man with greased back hair and a pinstriped suit tries to sell the couple a carpet. Frank pretty much has no interest in a carpet unless it can fly, like in Aladdin. But he ends up buying one anyway.

Question: How did Frank finance such a carpet? Surely his GAP salary isn’t paying him enough for him to afford souvenirs.

**Commercial Break**

THE BACHELOR PAD. Former contestants will compete for money.

Nasty Natalie tells the camera that she likes bears again and that she was dumped by Jason. “Who does he think he is?! God?!”

Weatherman Jonathan tells the camera that his face is the “moneymaker”

Dirty Wes squints at the camera and growls, “game on” while a rendition of “Love don’t come easy” plays in the background.

Back at the date…

5) Frank shoulders the ridiculous rug as the couple stroll through some shady parts of Turkey and enter into what looks strikingly similar to the creepy cave from Iceland.

6) Apparently they have entered into a “cistern” (whatever the heck that is) and they have to walk through icy cold water to the middle of it so that they can eat some dinner. Am I the only one who thinks this sounds terrible?

7) They have some heavy conversation and I end up concluding that Ali is indeed in love with Frank.

Rose Ceremony

Ali decides that she wants to skip the cocktail party and head straight to the rose ceremony because there is someone that she knows she doesn’t have a connection with. We all know that it’s Craig. He sheds a few tears and then heads back to the law firm.

Next stop:  Portugal….

More drama coming up tonight!

-V

Jay Larson, Comedian

So I was doing some research recently for my internship–looking up some comedians that were appearing in the DSA Comedy Show here in LA. My favorite comedian that appeared was this guy named Jay Larson. So naturally I’m sharing my find with you, just for fun! ENJOY!!!

If you like Jay, check out some more videos on the Comedy Central Web site.

Until then,

~B